I had a scare a bit ago.  I tried to upgrade this blog from version 2.0.6 to 2.1, but apparently the MySQL server didn’t like it.  I thought I was stuck.  Anyway, long story short, I downgraded back to 2.0.7, and now we’re back to normal.  Maybe when I get a chance, I’ll try again, but for now, enjoy 2.0.7.

It’s funny.  No, I’m not referring to the fact that this is my second post of the new year, and it’s not even a week in.  I didn’t even make a resolution…  What I am referring to is how things change when one stops and takes inventory.  A moment ago, I came upstairs from hanging out with my brother, watching Scrubs, which, by the way, I find quite amusing.  Anyway, my e-mail inbox said I had a new wall post on Facebook from a friend of mine whom I knew was going to be gone for the next semester.  It turns out he’s already gone.  Plus, a couple of my other friends will be doing the same thing quite soon.  They’re all following different musical pursuits now that they’ve graduated.  You’d think that it would be no big deal right?  Well, not exactly.  You see, these guys have kinda been my musical compadres for the past while, and honestly, (pull out your tissues) I’m going to miss them.  Of course, they’ll probably be back, and there’s a good chance we’ll be playing together again as early as this summer, but I guess I’m sad they won’t be a part of my last semester of college.  In many ways, I’ve never felt as respected with anyone else as I have with them (which is strange because in many other ways, we are so different and would have never been friends had it not been for music, which speaks to the efficacy of the art), at least in the same way.  On some level, we understand each other unlike I feel I’ve ever been understood.

But to get really honest, that isn’t the root issue here.  It’s the combination of a number of things.  Have I accomplished anything?  Have I grown and changed?  Have I risked and invested?  Do I have any friends who will actually care at least a bit when I’m gone?  Will my life turn out like it should, or will I screw it up?  Was it worth four years of my life and thousands of dollars of my parents’ money (and eventually mine once I start paying off loans)?  Does my family know I love them and owe them the world but don’t really know how to show it?  Am I ready to move on into real life?  Maybe it’s the fact that it’s 2:30 in the morning, and I should be sleeping, but I guess you could say I’m in a pensive mood.  I just want to make a difference and live without regrets.  And more than anything, I’m scared of being alone, which is something I’d much rather share with a friend or a special someone who is more than a friend, but at this point, I don’t have the latter, and I question the former.  My phone sits silent most of the time, unless someone needs something, and not very often does my computer make that fun whooshing sound, announcing an incoming instant message.  Man, it’s a good thing no one reads this, or you’d probably consider this an invitation to my pity party and then slap me for being such an idiot.  I am being serious, but realize that I don’t intend to over-dramatize it.  I just think about these things sometimes, and the closer I become to a college graduate, the more they shift to the foreground.  It is good to know, or at least to assume, that there are other people who process these same things.  And of course, if I could figure out how to surrender control, there is One who can take care of it and me.  I guess I’m not alone.

Matt

Yes, I know I am. I have been quite unfaithful to you, my readers; and it feels like every time I write, I am only coming up with a different and more creative way to express that sentiment. Once again, I humbly come before you with an apologetic heart and a meek spirit to ask your kindest forgiveness for my absence. Anyway, I find myself pretty bored as this Christmas break continues on. I’m hanging out with the fam at our new pad in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Yes friends, I no longer call Holland, Michigan home, although I will still claim it as my hometown since it’s where I learned about Jesus, it’s where I learned about love, it’s where I learned about working hard, and having a little was just enough. For those of you without country roots, that was a reference to “Boondocks” by Little Big Town.

Anywho, next semester is almost here, and not only is it the only thing standing between me and summer break (aka warm weather), it is the only thing standing between me and real life. Yes, folks, that’s right. It’s my LAST semester of college, and very likely my last semester of school ever. I’m not closed to the thought of going farther in my education if necessary someday, but for now, I think I’ll be done.

As I mentioned in my last post, a number of my friends will be marrying soon, and since the writing of said post, I’ve thought of a number of more friends who find themselves victims of the same fate. Forgive my terminology; maybe I’m just bitter at my state of singleness. Anyway, I’ll be playing for a few of these weddings and receptions, and probably attending most or all of them, so that will be one feature of my summer. Also, I hope to be touring and playing music so I don’t have to get a real job.

If you get a chance, you should check out my website www.mattulrich.com. If you’ve ever visited it before, you will probably notice that nothing major has changed. Oh, but that’s just what you notice at first glance. If you’ll recall, clicking a link would simply take you to the desired website. Well, now you get the pleasure of a new experience. Click a link. It’s sweet. You’ll like it. I promise.

I’m a nerd…

Lately, I’ve had a strong desire to start a podcast. You laugh and think that if I don’t update my blog, why would I ever update my podcast. You’re probably right. Plus, I don’t have a ton of hard drive space left, nor do I have very good equipment with which to make a podcast with any semblance of professionalism. Plus, who would care anyway? So on to other pursuits…

I’ve also had a realization that I might really like to get into scoring films or television shows. I just finished watching the 5th season of 24 on DVD (my Christmas present to myself), and one of the bonus features was a featurette about the guy who does the music and how he does it. I was very intrigued, but also quite sad that apparently you need to be rich to do something like this, because I could never afford the hardware and software with which scores for shows of that magnitude are produced. I suppose I could work my way up. It’s another option for “real life” I guess…

Well, I’ve officially covered topics that allow me to file this post under every category, so I guess that means there’s not much left to say. It’s getting late, and I need to get out of the habit of sleeping in past noon. My Monday, Wednesday, Friday classes once again start at 9am next semester, and sleeping through them isn’t really an option. Friends, thank you for your listening ear (or in the case of this blog, your reading eye). Happy new year, and God bless America!

Matt