Motivation
Sometimes I have more of it, and sometimes I don’t. It’s sad really. I want to be a (much) more disciplined person. Discipline is an incredible virtue. Even something as simple as keeping my blog updated seems too much of a chore far too often. I suppose whether the latest post was written within the last few months isn’t going to make or break me as a person, but I’d venture to say that it could be a fairly accurate representation of the level of motivation I have for other, more vital, activities, such as, say, finishing my graduation requirements, piano practice, songwriting, working out/eating healthy, and time with God. Now, I now the word “motivation” implies some feeling that promises a positive result, and I realize that discipline has not much to do with feelings. In fact, discipline, more often than not, acts in spite of feelings. Maybe that’s where patience comes in. I think I’d feel motivated if I had enough patience to wait for the reward. But sadly, I often settle for “good enough.” The funny thing, though, is that this isn’t a universal principle for me. Sometimes I find myself so unwilling to settle for “good enough” that I don’t even try, either because I realize I’ll never achieve in that area or because I convince myself that I can if I wait long enough (i.e. “There’s something better out there for me.”). I hope that makes sense. I guess that this is sort an exploratory post, a pseudo-psychological expedition into the vast expanse that is the way I think and work. It’s probably about time I do this. It would be a shame if I went much longer without figuring myself out.
One thing I do know, however, is that I want to love people and love what I do. Maybe therein lies my motivation.
