Sometimes I have more of it, and sometimes I don’t.  It’s sad really.  I want to be a (much) more disciplined person.  Discipline is an incredible virtue.  Even something as simple as keeping my blog updated seems too much of a chore far too often.  I suppose whether the latest post was written within the last few months isn’t going to make or break me as a person, but I’d venture to say that it could be a fairly accurate representation of the level of motivation I have for other, more vital, activities, such as, say, finishing my graduation requirements, piano practice, songwriting, working out/eating healthy, and time with God.  Now, I now the word “motivation” implies some feeling that promises a positive result, and I realize that discipline has not much to do with feelings.  In fact, discipline, more often than not, acts in spite of feelings.  Maybe that’s where patience comes in.  I think I’d feel motivated if I had enough patience to wait for the reward.  But sadly, I often settle for “good enough.”  The funny thing, though, is that this isn’t a universal principle for me.  Sometimes I find myself so unwilling to settle for “good enough” that I don’t even try, either because I realize I’ll never achieve in that area or because I convince myself that I can if I wait long enough (i.e. “There’s something better out there for me.”).  I hope that makes sense.  I guess that this is sort an exploratory post, a pseudo-psychological expedition into the vast expanse that is the way I think and work.  It’s probably about time I do this.  It would be a shame if I went much longer without figuring myself out.

One thing I do know, however, is that I want to love people and love what I do.  Maybe therein lies my motivation.